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So sorry Jeffrey these things happen when your body had never been given time to properly heal! So it came out in the toilet and I didnt know what to do so I just flushed the tiny little fetus. You have made me numb and I hate you for this! I hope I never have to see you again! I am not your personal incubator! where is the baby! _ where is Ghislaine!!! AN EFTA02731395

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BLEND IN! HATE THIS CITY! 4 WY SC Ee en rw os K EFTA02731397

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On Misery’s Trail The toll of reporting on human anguish EFTA02731398

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1961 I blamed her for everything, but she didn’t answer. I couldn’t understand her stupid behavior! When I hit her she held still, like a true pacifist. Then I realized what she wanted was for me to love her: She began to warm up, and I saw her advantages. Without me, she wouldn’t exist, so of course she was grateful. I gave her a soul, I bloomed out of her as a rose Blooms out of a vase of not very valuable porcelain, And it was I who attracted everybody’s attention, Not her whiteness and beauty, as I had at first supposed. \ I patronized her a little, and she lapped it up— You could tell almost at once she had a slave mentality. \yY I didn’t mind her waiting on me, and sh; RN O In the morning she woke me early, ramen he From her amazingly white torso, a Idny feu notice Her tidiness and her calmness i 4 She humored my weakness lj As if my habi She let in the ts me more and more absent-minded. And my skin itchgd Ad ked away in soft pieces Simply becausg fhe Ypoked after me so badly. Then I saw ae f trouble was: she thought she was immortal. She wa: a me, she thought she was superior, And TaN keeping her in the dark, and she was resentful — Wasting her days waiting on a half-corpse! And secretly she began to hope I'd die. Then she could cover my mouth and eyes, cover me entirely, And wear my painted face the way a mummy-case Wears the face of a pharaoh, though it’s made of mud and water. I wasn’t in any position to get rid of her. She’d supported me for so long I was quite limp— I had even forgotten how to walk or sit, EFTA02731399

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Background photo of a courtroom with words “our stand you should never be here alone” HE SHOULD! EFTA02731400

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OUR STAND Swaczzesos Proud Mone & Auto Inserance Spoeeor of fhe 2004 US Olrepse tear EFTA02731401.

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Through a Child's Eyes VANISHING aaa “What I wanted was a place where dr eams did not stop at dawn.’ Flashback s I won't let yy, pain keep me oa Vy EFTA02731402-

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Background photos of New York City and quote “Who could have predicted this?” I should have! So sad this city could be beautiful if it werent filled with monsters. The blood from Leon is no longer there. [clipping: National Geographic June 2004] \ VS Oe IZ oo rw os XK ed EFTA02731403

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oR Oo 7! me | iWAeer \ o\o oahk '4 Ssans iy ye ed vliwen savy enn ¢TEY OES CLOSE Ea hg Ses. NOI Lee. Th e irk halts the northward march of architectural giants. Setting his camera at ' CTED THIS?” i Central Park West, the photographer made this view (above) looking to the southeast. the ne photographed at night (below), the park's night lights dance ani ~~ mo's Fire. Beyond the park, etched in fire against nocturnal skies, rises the great city, jMughindted like a sultan’s palace on a gala night. “WHO COULD HAVE PR I EFTA02731404

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Tomorrow is the halfway ultrasound for Jeffrey. This one stuck. After they took the first baby who survived and the early miscarriage | think it was called I no longer feel like a person but a vessel. Will they take this one too? Who has the first one? Where did Ghislaine go. She is never around. I cant let myself get attached. \ I am not old or mature enough or even in the place to have \baby tha i be responsible for. I am not even able to focus on anything other than hi ines aga, ) I had to go to eating disorder treatment prior to bead thi §Brion again and missed the entire fall semester of school. VG I am so very exhausted. IN xy My body feels so tired. « 42 Will I ever be free? cO & os AC A ed EFTA02731405

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I am such a...monster. I DIDNT CONSOLE HER! I CANT UNHEAR HER SCREAMS! THEY HAUNT ME! I couldnt even bring myself to look at her. I am a monster. I deserve to be haunted by her screams. wr 1AM SO SORRY VV ~S 1AM S[ ] BROKEN. ww O EFTA02731407

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